Mumbai - An Addiction
Monday, June 30, 2008
Bad Habits - Whose Fault
So… I am at this “tapri”, having my smoke, with a bottle of Maaza. (It’s a delightful combination by the way) when this happy little family, complete with a toddler who was half-walking, half-swinging holding on tightly to his dad on his left and his mom on his right.
As they passed me, I couldn’t help smiling at the playful antics the kid was up to. He looked up at me and smiled back. That’s the great things about kids. They always smile back when you smile at them. There are no reservations or apprehensions that the other person is a stranger. These things set in once the cruelty of the world is drilled into their system.
Anyways, so this toddler smiled, and then he was obviously attracted by the faintly burning ember between my fingers, after all it is quite artistic, a stick glowing at the periphery at one end, with mystical smoke emanating from it… yes, I could understand why the kid found it appealing. So he let go of his mother’s hand and pointed out to the cigarette. His mom turned around, and was aghast to see that the little child was showing interest, so early in his career, in something so baleful. She scowled at her husband. Muttering under her breath, but yet loud enough, “It’s all your fault. You better stop smoking at home. Else Mihir is going to be a chain smoker by he is six.” The scowl persisted even though the scolding stopped at that. The father gave me a helpless look. It said, “Dude… you had to be here right now? Ok, I guess it’s not your fault. You carry on. I need a smoke too.”
It made me wonder about the fundas of parenting. Obviously I can’t comment from my own experience, but the general trend seems to be that if a child picks up, shall I say tangible, bad habits, like swearing, smoking, drinking, etc. the blame goes to the father. And for the more intangible bad habits, like being rude to elders, or being atheist, etc, are blamed on the mother. Now I guess I can be labeled as atheist. And I do smoke. My mom is very religious, and my dad doesn’t smoke. So whose fault is it? Ok… ok… I take the entire blame for that.
As they passed me, I couldn’t help smiling at the playful antics the kid was up to. He looked up at me and smiled back. That’s the great things about kids. They always smile back when you smile at them. There are no reservations or apprehensions that the other person is a stranger. These things set in once the cruelty of the world is drilled into their system.
Anyways, so this toddler smiled, and then he was obviously attracted by the faintly burning ember between my fingers, after all it is quite artistic, a stick glowing at the periphery at one end, with mystical smoke emanating from it… yes, I could understand why the kid found it appealing. So he let go of his mother’s hand and pointed out to the cigarette. His mom turned around, and was aghast to see that the little child was showing interest, so early in his career, in something so baleful. She scowled at her husband. Muttering under her breath, but yet loud enough, “It’s all your fault. You better stop smoking at home. Else Mihir is going to be a chain smoker by he is six.” The scowl persisted even though the scolding stopped at that. The father gave me a helpless look. It said, “Dude… you had to be here right now? Ok, I guess it’s not your fault. You carry on. I need a smoke too.”
It made me wonder about the fundas of parenting. Obviously I can’t comment from my own experience, but the general trend seems to be that if a child picks up, shall I say tangible, bad habits, like swearing, smoking, drinking, etc. the blame goes to the father. And for the more intangible bad habits, like being rude to elders, or being atheist, etc, are blamed on the mother. Now I guess I can be labeled as atheist. And I do smoke. My mom is very religious, and my dad doesn’t smoke. So whose fault is it? Ok… ok… I take the entire blame for that.
posted by Himanshu at 10:44 AM
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