Mumbai - An Addiction
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Not-so-romantic Autowallah
I had taken an auto to my gym and the autowallah turned out to be one of those chatty kinds. And his types are never short of an anecdote to entertain their passengers. So he told me, unasked, the story of the passengers before me.
There was a couple before me who was coming from Thakur Complex to Saibaba Nagar. And the autowallah told me that he got them to Saibaba Nagar from Dahisar Flyover, which unless you are from around the area means nothing to you. Suffice to say that the route was at least 5 times longer than the normal road that the autowallah should have taken.
I was about to censure the autowallah for his unethical behavior with a speech of how autos and the honesty and dedication of autowallahs is the pride of Mumbai. Well, at least compared to the slimy, rude, greedy, and basically ass-hole autowallahs from places like Bangalore and Chennai and the likes. Not to say that all autowallahs are bad in these places, but most of them are.
But before I could heap my curses on my autowallah, he told me that it was the couple who wanted to take the longer route. This is how the conversation progressed:
Me: Itne lambe raaste se kyun laye unko?
Autowallah: Unhone hi bola. Unka kissing chalu tha peeche.
Me: Oh. Tab theek hai.
Autowallah: mere ko kya problem hai. Mera to meter chal raha tha. Unko jo karna hai woh kare. Bas gaadi nahi hilaana mangta hai.
Me: Gadi bhi hilaate hai kya log?
Autowallah: Arrey kya bharosa couple ka. Koi apne ko paas kare to apun ki gaadi mein dekhna nahin chahiye. Warna kya sochenge log. Mere ko bhi disturb hota hai na.
Me: Sahi hai.
Well. What do I say? For a lot of people who live in sparrow nest sized houses in joint families, don’t have cars, and can’t get a public place to canoodle with their lovers, autos have become the private space for the purpse. It’s not that these couples are not aware that the autowallah would know what they are doing in the back seats. But in the crowded place that Mumbai is, knowing that only one person is aware of their tender moments is a better devil than every passer by witnessing their romantic actions. And the autowallahs don’t really make an issue of it. God bless their souls! And the couples don’t even mind the occasional over-taker on the road peeking and catching a glimpse of a quick kiss. Or a hearty smooch. How would those couples love autos with doors!
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Romantic Autowallah
In the cynical world we live in it’s all too commonplace to treat people who display affection publicly with anything from a snicker to contempt. While autowallahs are more dismissive and indifferent to couples who snuggle up, in the most platonic sense of the term, in the back seats during a trip through the by-lanes or highways of the city, they (autowallahs) run out of patience when one half of the couple has to be left somewhere and the couple takes forever to finish it’s good byes. And I can’t say that I blame them really. It’s one of those things you can’t help dishing out if you are a part of a couple.
But then there was this one time, quite, quite some time back, when I had to drop my girlfriend someplace and continue with the auto. And the autowallah behaved completely out-of-script. As I asked him to stop the auto at my girlfriend’s destination, (I had told the autowallah that one of us would leave there and I would continue the auto) and as soon as he pulled over his auto, he left and went about twenty feet away for no apparent reason. He was just standing there, gazing at stars and passing cars and trees and appreciating the beauty of the world, it seemed. It was clear he wanted to give me and my girlfriend some privacy for our farewell ritual. And when she left, he promptly came back and drove me away.
And that’s it. I never really thanked him. And he didn’t start of on a rant of how romantic a guy he was. He just silently drove and I paid the fare when I got off and that’s the last I ever saw of him. I can’t put in words what exactly I felt then. It wasn’t an overwhelming feeling of gratitude or anything of that sort. I guess it was just… hope… that there are some people who genuinely believe, and practice, the philosophy of “live and let live”. May his tribe increase! And world could be so much better a place to live in!
But then there was this one time, quite, quite some time back, when I had to drop my girlfriend someplace and continue with the auto. And the autowallah behaved completely out-of-script. As I asked him to stop the auto at my girlfriend’s destination, (I had told the autowallah that one of us would leave there and I would continue the auto) and as soon as he pulled over his auto, he left and went about twenty feet away for no apparent reason. He was just standing there, gazing at stars and passing cars and trees and appreciating the beauty of the world, it seemed. It was clear he wanted to give me and my girlfriend some privacy for our farewell ritual. And when she left, he promptly came back and drove me away.
And that’s it. I never really thanked him. And he didn’t start of on a rant of how romantic a guy he was. He just silently drove and I paid the fare when I got off and that’s the last I ever saw of him. I can’t put in words what exactly I felt then. It wasn’t an overwhelming feeling of gratitude or anything of that sort. I guess it was just… hope… that there are some people who genuinely believe, and practice, the philosophy of “live and let live”. May his tribe increase! And world could be so much better a place to live in!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
On the Job Training
Being so used to traveling hither and thither in autos, I never thought that I would have a near-death experience in one of them. Ok, I am exaggerating. But ask any foreigners who travel in an auto for the first time. The way they swerve in and between cars and trucks and buses, you just have to hold on to anything within grasp real tight and pray. Larry Page and Sergey Brin probably got one of those calm, meditative drivers to have been so impressed with the machine.
So on this particular day, I took an auto from Bandstand to Vile Parle. The autowallah, surprisingly, didn’t know the route and told me to in a very pleading tone, “Sahab, raastaa nahin pata hai.” I asked him if he knew the road to the highway and he replied in the negative. I berated him for being so ignorant! What autowallah doesn’t know the road to the highway! I took the auto nonetheless and kept giving him directions.
It was on the highway that I noticed that something was amiss. The driver kept the auto on the extreme left and was riding almost at 20 kmph. While the drivers with the Schumacher trait can be scary, I didn’t appreciate such cautious driving. And plus there was a flyover coming up and the driver didn’t show any indication of taking it. I told him, “Boss, woh flyover lena hai. Itna left mein mat rakho gaadi ko.” And he changed to the lane on the right, immediately, and sharply. I rocked to my left. And then I gave him a piece of my mind.
The driver didn’t get aggressive or defensive in return. In fact he was shit scared himself. He meekly said that it was the first time he was driving on the highway. Shit! I couldn’t shout at him anymore. I didn’t want my life to be in the hands of a nervous-wreck auto driver. I told him to go slow. And soon we got stuck in traffic which made the rest of my journey safe. When I got down, I gave him some tips about how to go about learning to drive. Not that I have driven an auto, but be it a bike or an auto, the fundamentals of learning remain the same.
And then I thanked God silently that there wasn’t any truck making a dash past us when he had sharply changed lanes…
So on this particular day, I took an auto from Bandstand to Vile Parle. The autowallah, surprisingly, didn’t know the route and told me to in a very pleading tone, “Sahab, raastaa nahin pata hai.” I asked him if he knew the road to the highway and he replied in the negative. I berated him for being so ignorant! What autowallah doesn’t know the road to the highway! I took the auto nonetheless and kept giving him directions.
It was on the highway that I noticed that something was amiss. The driver kept the auto on the extreme left and was riding almost at 20 kmph. While the drivers with the Schumacher trait can be scary, I didn’t appreciate such cautious driving. And plus there was a flyover coming up and the driver didn’t show any indication of taking it. I told him, “Boss, woh flyover lena hai. Itna left mein mat rakho gaadi ko.” And he changed to the lane on the right, immediately, and sharply. I rocked to my left. And then I gave him a piece of my mind.
The driver didn’t get aggressive or defensive in return. In fact he was shit scared himself. He meekly said that it was the first time he was driving on the highway. Shit! I couldn’t shout at him anymore. I didn’t want my life to be in the hands of a nervous-wreck auto driver. I told him to go slow. And soon we got stuck in traffic which made the rest of my journey safe. When I got down, I gave him some tips about how to go about learning to drive. Not that I have driven an auto, but be it a bike or an auto, the fundamentals of learning remain the same.
And then I thanked God silently that there wasn’t any truck making a dash past us when he had sharply changed lanes…
Saturday, April 25, 2009
50 paise lesson
Very recently, they increased the price of a Goldflake Lights cigarette from four Rupees to Four Rupees Fifty Paise. An incremental value of Fifty Paise. And we were up at arms about it. Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a bit. But we didn’t like the price going up. And the tapri-wala our office folks buy cigarettes from is in some ways notorious for not treating his customers right. And we ranted the usual hassled customers rant of the price being Four Rupees everywhere else and all that. And then the tapri-wala said that we earn so much and what is fifty paise. It is going to increase today or tomorrow. And that… rankled us no end.
Even Bangalore auto-wallas are under the misconception that IT guys, irrespective of what level they work at, earn in millions of dollars, and use that as a justification for charging extra. “Tum IT wala itna kamaataa hai… dus rupye mein kya hoga?” And that one line used to infuriate me. And I had to count to about 100 to control myself from giving a straight-left on the auto driver’s nose.
Money is a very precious object for most of us. And we might be spendthrifts indulging in the weirdest of fancies and things which are of no possible use or entertainment to us, but it’s ok as long as we are ‘spending’ it. Charity is fine too. But someone demanding money from us just because we have it doesn’t go well with our sensibilities. Is it because we liken that to begging? Or stealing perhaps? But then the righteous side of us comes bubbling up, screaming that this is our hard earned money, a side that will not flinch when we buy a 100 Rs. Popcorn at a multiplex.
I don’t know the right answer. But I think it’s a primary instinct to protect our right of choice. When that gets infringed we jump about like cat on hot coals. And that’s exactly what the tapri-wala and the auto-wallas wanted to achieve. I have voluntarily given auto-drivers ten bucks extra over and above the legitimate fare when they have agreed to give me a ride late in the night when I am not getting any other auto. But that is my choice. As long as that is protected I won’t seethe.
And now, maybe having understood the reasons of the anger, I might not get angry when someone tries to touch me for extra money, even if it is fifty paise. I still won’t hand it out ofcourse. But knowing that I am choosing to not give the money, I will probably maintain my calm.
Even Bangalore auto-wallas are under the misconception that IT guys, irrespective of what level they work at, earn in millions of dollars, and use that as a justification for charging extra. “Tum IT wala itna kamaataa hai… dus rupye mein kya hoga?” And that one line used to infuriate me. And I had to count to about 100 to control myself from giving a straight-left on the auto driver’s nose.
Money is a very precious object for most of us. And we might be spendthrifts indulging in the weirdest of fancies and things which are of no possible use or entertainment to us, but it’s ok as long as we are ‘spending’ it. Charity is fine too. But someone demanding money from us just because we have it doesn’t go well with our sensibilities. Is it because we liken that to begging? Or stealing perhaps? But then the righteous side of us comes bubbling up, screaming that this is our hard earned money, a side that will not flinch when we buy a 100 Rs. Popcorn at a multiplex.
I don’t know the right answer. But I think it’s a primary instinct to protect our right of choice. When that gets infringed we jump about like cat on hot coals. And that’s exactly what the tapri-wala and the auto-wallas wanted to achieve. I have voluntarily given auto-drivers ten bucks extra over and above the legitimate fare when they have agreed to give me a ride late in the night when I am not getting any other auto. But that is my choice. As long as that is protected I won’t seethe.
And now, maybe having understood the reasons of the anger, I might not get angry when someone tries to touch me for extra money, even if it is fifty paise. I still won’t hand it out ofcourse. But knowing that I am choosing to not give the money, I will probably maintain my calm.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Traffic Signal
It was another day, and I was all set for another routine work day. I was at the flyover near my home to jump into the first auto I found. Usually it doesn't take much time or effort, but today, the market for autos was certainly teeming. And not all customers were swanky corporate honchos like myself.
The other customers who were hunting for autos with me were the beggars who had made a living out of taking money from the cars and autos stopping at the signal by displaying their supposedly pitiful existence. Today, while they were still looking pitifully poor as ever, the sadness in the eyes when they begged was replaced by the frustration that any person who is waiting unsuccessfully for an auto experiences.
Eventually, I got an auto... and close on my heels they got one too.
We got rolling. I couldn't stop being bewildered that the beggars were actually commuting in an auto. They couldn't be that poor after all, I guessed.
And soon I ran into a signal. I could see some beggars going about making hay while the signal was red. They approached the auto next to mine, pleading for money. And I noticed, that the auto had the same beggars who took an auto from where I had taken one. Now I have seen everything, I thought, Beggars begging from beggars!
And the beggars who were in the auto said dismissively, "Arrey, hum peeche ke signal pe kaam karte hai." (We work at the signal just before this one) Hearing that, the begging beggars simply didn't pester them. Neither did they look surprised. Nor did they display any hurt their egos ought to have experienced at seeing their peers so well off then themselves. What’s a little professional rivalry, ehh? People in my line are constantly playing the one-upmanship game when they tell each other in polite tones “Oh you have Lxi? I have ‘V’xi. Check it out.” Apparently begging is not as competitive as the corporate world. The beggars on the feet just moved on to the next auto, which was mine and said, "Bhaiyya, do din se khana nahin khaya, kuch paisa dedo bhaiyya"
I felt like asking them if they too travelled places in an auto. But I just turned my head away.
The other customers who were hunting for autos with me were the beggars who had made a living out of taking money from the cars and autos stopping at the signal by displaying their supposedly pitiful existence. Today, while they were still looking pitifully poor as ever, the sadness in the eyes when they begged was replaced by the frustration that any person who is waiting unsuccessfully for an auto experiences.
Eventually, I got an auto... and close on my heels they got one too.
We got rolling. I couldn't stop being bewildered that the beggars were actually commuting in an auto. They couldn't be that poor after all, I guessed.
And soon I ran into a signal. I could see some beggars going about making hay while the signal was red. They approached the auto next to mine, pleading for money. And I noticed, that the auto had the same beggars who took an auto from where I had taken one. Now I have seen everything, I thought, Beggars begging from beggars!
And the beggars who were in the auto said dismissively, "Arrey, hum peeche ke signal pe kaam karte hai." (We work at the signal just before this one) Hearing that, the begging beggars simply didn't pester them. Neither did they look surprised. Nor did they display any hurt their egos ought to have experienced at seeing their peers so well off then themselves. What’s a little professional rivalry, ehh? People in my line are constantly playing the one-upmanship game when they tell each other in polite tones “Oh you have Lxi? I have ‘V’xi. Check it out.” Apparently begging is not as competitive as the corporate world. The beggars on the feet just moved on to the next auto, which was mine and said, "Bhaiyya, do din se khana nahin khaya, kuch paisa dedo bhaiyya"
I felt like asking them if they too travelled places in an auto. But I just turned my head away.
